Photos matter and wedding organisers need to acknowledge that

 

Photo by Alejandro Avila via Pexels

Much has been made of a recent petition started by wedding photographers to 'reset' their relationship with vicars which, some claim, has become so negative that it's hard to shoot a ceremony properly. The wedding photo album is such a set piece in the whole marriage celebration that it's just assumed it will fall into place. But it's actually one of the trickier aspects of your wedding. Which is why this petition isn't that much of a surprise.

No one wants a wedding where you see more of the photographer than the couple. But no one wants a wedding where all the pictures are rubbish. You'll have visions of how you want your wedding album to look and I expect it contains at least one of a) perfect kiss shot b) lovey dovey look during vows look c) perfect romantic ring exchange. And that takes skill and work. But it also takes flexibility.

In my years as a registrar and celebrant, one thing I've learned is that making sure a photographer can get the money shots is a big part of the job. Yes, the ceremony and the vows and the promises are really important. But, be honest, as much as you want to be married, in all likelihood what you also want are some really pretty pictures of how you got married in the first place.

OK, I'm coming at it from the point of view of a civil registrar. I've read some really interesting responses from ministers of several Christian denominations that have all focused on the spirituality of marriage. They are performing a sacred rite and they want it to be, well, sacred. What I'd say is that for all the non spiritual nature of a civil wedding, we're still bringing to life a contract, a bond, the cementing of a relationship for life. And we all have to be realistic. Yes, people marry to spend the rest of their time together. But they also do it cos it's a big day out and it looks fabulous.

And so I really think that compromise between photographers and celebrants is crucial. If you are lucky enough to be able to get the two together before the ceremony, even over email, that is great. Having that chat about what is and isn't OK before the big day helps a huge amount. I always try and speak to the photographer before the ceremony starts but we all know that sometimes that isn't always easy. But there also needs to be a realism over boundaries. Putting the photographer behind a pillar to stop them taking anything meaningful is just silly. This isn't the Middle Ages. The funny little photobox isn't going to sap anyone's cosmic energy. Equally, a full on performance by the photog as the couple are saying 'I do' isn't on, either. The point of a ring exchange is sealing a bond, not an opportunity to put a large lens on top of hands and say 'hold it'.

Good photographers can do the money shots without intrusion. Adjust expectations if you've got a mate to take the snaps to save cash. Chances are that some photos aren't happening unless they push the celebrant out of the way and you also don't want that. But celebrants also need to realise that the photo album means a lot to the couple and their guests. Communication is key.